Just a little cunt

Too far gone

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 21:02:49 +0100

May we touch once before we fall. The world closes in on me and I surrender.

I reach out to you but you’re too far gone. Falling into nothing.
The bleak waters enclose me.

I drown in the hollow mass, catching breath. Losing time.

I call for you.

You are too far gone.

Drowning

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 23:00:01 +0100

Words slip through my mind, an absence of meaning.

Nothing taking hold. An eclipse of time swims past me.

All thoughts turn to dust, I feel like I’m drowning.

Drowning in time.

A million seconds

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 21:59:13 +0100

The darkness lingers, taunting my woken mind. A thousand thoughts swirling around me.

A hundred nights, full of lost days. Watching time ebb down to nothing.

Waking nightmares, sleeping dreams. A million seconds of wasted breath.

Blood itches, crawling through my veins. My body twitches. The screaming silence surrounds me.

Who I am

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:22:20 +0100

Shattered thoughts smash to the floor, I am not me, I don’t know who I am anymore.

The cold surrounds me, closing in. Leaving goose bumps on my skin.

Time runs away and I feel lost, forgotten dreams, and words and thoughts.

Battered and bruised is my fragile mind, maybe all I need is time.

Made it strong

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 16:16:31 +0000

Please be gentle with my fragile heart, for it is already smashed on the floor.

If you can, piece it back together, give it time and it will be yours.

Hold it safely within your hands, please protect it the best you can.

It will probably fail and let you down, for it does not know what it’s doing now.

And when that time comes that you have made it strong, I will claim it back as my own.

Intertwined in my soul

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:06:12 +0000

The voices, the voices they all talk at once. Filling my mind and seeping into my veins.

I feel it pulse through my body, enveloping me. Entrapped by the waves, the sounds so deafening.

So loud, so intertwined in my soul. There is no release from the noise. No escape, no way out until they seise to be.

All is silent until the voices.

Entrapped

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 02:28:16 +0000

The darkness envelops me. Entrancing me with it’s silent calling. I travel through the shadows, hiding from the searing light.

I hear the whispers and run. I wont be trapped any longer. The light is blinding, without it I see clearly.

I’m entrapped by the beauty of your soul, but it could never be.

My dear

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 10:01:30 +0000

How do forget about you when you didn’t say goodbye? So many words left unspoken so many feelings left to die.

Sometimes I still think of you when I’m all alone. My memories are haunted by you, I wish I knew where you had gone.

My heart will never be broken, my dreams of you will never seise. I miss you so damn much my dear, you plagued me with your disease.

You

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:28:53 +0000

Stranded by the passing waves.
Whispers echo before they fade.
Dreams passing by as quick as they form, I fall to my knees and pray.

Time won’t heal the wound of you.
Time can’t undo the things you do.
Wasted words left unsaid, floating around inside my head.

Chasing time, it’s running out.
All those promises left me to doubt.
Left behind and all alone.
You went without a word, I’m here without hope.

In the night you come to me.
I need you to leave me be.
I’m haunted by the loss of you.
Empty thoughts that won’t come true.

Make ends meet

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 20:06:27 +0000

Keep your head up, keep your hopes down. Disrupted sleep, broken dreams.

Travel through life and make ends meet. One day it will end and you can rest your tired mind.

Racing thoughts, over analysing voices. Plagued with your misconception of what the world owes you.

Take nothing, expect nothing. You were born alone and that is how it will end.

Pray

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 16:10:48 +0000

Dark demonic creatures, lurking in the shadows. Bleak obscure images leading the way.

Desolate surroundings, chased by echoes from the past. Screams lost in the fog.

Footsteps all around, taunting you into submission. You fall to your knees, and pray for the end.

Time spins down

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 20:27:39 +0000

Life is a source of ever decreasing circles. Time spins down.

With the tick of a clock your world may evaporate into nothing. With the tock it may become compleat.

Don’t waste your time on empty thoughts, don’t waste your hours with empty dreams.

Spend every minute wisely, use every second without a second thought.

Your clock is running out…

Words

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 16:39:37 +0000

Running through the echoes. Chasing the sands of time.
Fuck you, I’ll bleed your soul dry.

Compelling contradictions,
Eradicating existence.
The downward spiral of your being falls at my feet.

Time waits for no man, I won’t spend time on you.
Blocking out those empty promises, waiting until you’re through.

Your words hold no meaning, your lies hold the truth.

A B C...

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 16:36:52 +0000

Absent abyss
Beholding beliefs
Contradicting conception
Denying demons
Endearing erosions
Fears founded
Gravitating greatness
Hiding horrors
Ingeniously ingrained
Jealously judging
Kaleidoscope kingdom
Lethargically loathing
Mediocre mercy
Numbing notions
Omitting originality
Perception perfected
Quarrelling quantification
Resounding rationalisation
Searching souls
Tortuous temptations
Unreadable unreachable
Vile venom
Wounding worlds
Xenophobic
Youthful yesterday
Zealous zero

Faith

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 04:23:16 +0000

Losing faith and losing time. The clock counts down.

Wandering this world alone, touching places that are unknown.

I reach out, pushed away. It’s standard to me.

I have faith within myself, your words are empty.

Dispelled

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 09:35:21 +0000

Words escape me, I can’t explain how I feel. I’m lost just like you.

The ramblings in my mind all muddle together. Thoughts fighting for attention, sounds with no meaning.

Sometimes I search for something more, sometimes I hide away from the world.

The tears and the laughter come and go. Fake smiles never reach the eyes.

The embodiment of trust has been dispelled, I see through you now.

Betrayal

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:10:13 +0000

Crawling, dirty, falling down. On your knees, it’s too late now.

Your dark betrayal lingers fresh, scarred like a knife into my flesh.

I let you in, you let me down. I trusted you, Enjoy your crown.

I shouldn’t have expected anything less, your twisted words have marked my chest.

Cloak

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:59:00 +0000

No happiness lies within me, I have no soul to bare. The rejection of the nation has ensured there’s nothing there.

The tears have long since dried, the pain has left me numb. I am unknown to everything, and everything has gone.

The darkness it surrounds me, covers me like a cloak, the bleak and black of insecurities feeds the voices in my head.

This pain is my own and I won’t burden you, I’m trying to escape my troubles maybe you are too.

Plauge

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:55:41 +0000

The smoke swirls through my soul. Plaguing my dreams with a black veil of doubt.

I reach out through the mist, my vision blurred by the waking reality of absence.

Absence of time, worlds collide, become one in a haze of overwhelming insight.

Doubt plagues my restless mind.

Scars

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 19:36:55 +0000

The awakening

I laid there, quietly surveying my surroundings. Unable to comprehend what had just happened.
I gazed around, searching for clues, trying to piece together my shattered memory. The ground was cold and hard beneath me, my head throbbing. I felt my blood racing through my veins, itching and scratching me as it rushed around. When I sat up a pain shocked through my body, exploding inside of me and it all came rushing back.

Tripped

We’d met at a house party, bodies crammed together, sweaty and hot. The music blazed from the speakers, the lights turned down low. I pushed my way through the crowd, looking for a familiar face, but it was too dark. I found my way to a door and stumbled through.
The lights hit my eyes leaving me blinded for a few seconds. I blinked until my eyes adjusted and then scanned around the room.

Books lined one side of the room, a computer sat on a large mahogany desk in the corner. There where chairs all around, like a make shift lounge area, bodies sprawled over them. No one looked up when I walked in, each creature lost in their own reality. Their eyes hollow, unfocused. Some were quietly giggling to themselves, others rocking back and forth staring into a world that wasn’t there.

I saw an empty seat and walked over, the alcohol had hit me and the room began to spin. I was just happy to sit down and that was when I noticed her. Her eyes glared at me as if she could see into my soul. She handed me a pill and I swallowed with out thinking. The relief of sitting down and the silence in the room left me struggling to keep my eyes open.

I awoke with a start. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been out for but the room was deserted. My heart was pounding, I could feel my blood pulsing through my brain. I wanted to move but fear left me glued to my seat. I felt alert, I could hear a drip coming from within the walls, I heard hushed voices outside the door. I bit my tongue to hold in my screams. I sat where I was, dead still, to scared to breath. The sweat poured out of me and my body shook uncontrollably.
The voices faded away and knew I had to get out of that room. As I rose to stand a wall of sound hit me. Spirals twisted and turned in front of my eyes, circles danced before, pulsating and increasing in size as they came closer, moving in slow motion, soundless.

Shivers

I found myself outside shivering. It was pitch black, all I could make out were fields. I heard a creak and a giggle, I could feel the darkness all around me, I could touch it. I saw a figure move from the corner of my eye, my demon chasing me. I started to run and everything spun out of control. I saw myself falling, I watch the ground speed up towards my face. I tried to put my hands out but fear had paralysed me. Then everything went black.

I sat and looked down my body, I soon realised why I was shivering. My clothes were littered around me, my top ripped, I was naked from the waist down. A scream tried to escape from my mouth but got caught in my throat.
My head dazed I took account of my exposed body. No scratches, no marks and no idea of what had happened!
I reached out at my clothes and pulled them on, protecting my dignity from the world. I made to stand up and my legs wobbled underneath me. I ached in places I never thought possible as I made my way back to safety.

I never went to the police, I never told a soul. How could I when I had no clue what had happened. Snippets flashed in my mind, a giggle, those empty eyes and a smell I couldn’t place. The pain I had felt curse through my body told me what she had done, a scar that would never fade.

A moment of clarity

Sometimes I catch the smell in the air and I panic. Fear spreads through my body and I can’t breath. My world spins before me. It was one of these times that I saw her, those raging eyes had be burnt into my mind, my very existence. I watched her as she rushed past, she looked through me her expression unflustered. Something took over inside me, the panic vanished as I followed her, I had waited for this moment.

I reached into my pocket and my fingers brushed the cool metal edge of the blade I have been carrying since that day. My mind is blank, vividly clear, I know what I am going to do. She needs to pay for what she did. As the roads got narrower and more deserted I quicken my pace, it was now or never.
I closed the gap between us and grabbed her, my hand covering her mouth, I can feel her trying to bite me. She’s kicking out at me but my stature is overpowering hers. I pull her hair and smash her face into the wall, blood explodes over me and I laugh. I hold her up against the wall by her neck and reach for the knife, slicing her top open, stroking it against her quivering skin. I push it into her flesh as I look into those dark eyes. I see a flash of fear and pain shoot through them as her mind takes over and she passes out. I carve into her stomach.

A scar for her to match mine. I survey my work, a bright red gushing from the letters I wrote. Luke.